


deep breaths, look at me

by Seamud



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seamud/pseuds/Seamud
Summary: Years after the war Catra and Adora can finally live and thrive as a family in the comfort of Bright Moon, but even after all this time Catra's past still haunts her.Trigger Warning:Panic attacksSelf-Harm (it isn't gruesome or focused on too much but it's still there).
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 223





	deep breaths, look at me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all hope you enjoy this quick fic i wrote. Its nothing special but I just needed to get my catradora feelings out sjdjsjsj
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING  
> Panic Attakcs  
> Self-Harm

Stepping off of the Starship Serenia and back onto the ground of Etheria was much more relieving than Catra had expected it to be. They had arrived just as the sun was beginning to set over Bright Moon, its rays cast beams of light over the walls of the castle that starkly contrasted the dullness of the inside of the ship. Catra inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, painting a picture of the sight in her head. A hand slipped around the dip of her waist to rest on the flat of her stomach. Another hand came around the otherside until they conjoined, a quiet purr rumbled in Catra’s chest as the rest of the hand’s body sidled close behind her.

“Hey.” Adora’s soft voice broke the silence and her lips brushed against the back of Catra’s neck.

“Hey.” Catra cracked open an eye to take a peek at Adora, she was resting her chin in the crook of Catra’s neck, her eyes closed and a faint smile on her lips.

The warmth of Adora’s body made Catra wish she could freeze time so she could drown in the feeling forever. There wasn’t anything more ideal than to just sit in the grass with Adora and do nothing. Moments like this, however, are always ephemeral. “Help me get our things?” Catra’s voice was barely above a whisper. Adora hummed in agreement but she continued to hold Catra, and it took Catra whacking her leg with her tail a few times before they moved.

The couple hauled bags of their belongings from the ship’s quarters and into Castle Bright Moon where they were greeted with the sound of little feet rushing towards them.

“Mamas!” Catra barely had time to react before a furry ball of excitement barrelled into her legs, giggling.

“Hey, peanut!” Catra lifted the toddler into her arms. Adora dropped her bags to launch an assault of kisses on the energetic toddler.

“How’s my baby Finn doing?” Adora cooed into their fluffy chest and it left Catra’s heart swelling in her own. By the stars, her family was cute.

Catra could see Glimmer approaching them. She handed Finn off to Adora, who gladly took the restless child into her arms. “I hope they weren’t too much trouble.”

“Not at all.” Glimmer said cheerfully, tussling the wild hair on Finn’s head. They gave a surprised chirp in response.

Catra reached into the pocket of one of her bags for a pouch of coins. “Here,” she tossed it to Glimmer, “before I forget.”

Glimmer caught the pouch and gave it a thoughtful look before throwing it back to Catra. “Thanks, but no thanks, darling.” Catra cocked an eyebrow. Picking up on the confusion, Glimmer answered, “Babysitting this one is payment enough.” Her colorful wardrobe and tanned skin disappeared and faded to black then Double Trouble’s reptilian figure stood before them instead. “You two have quite the little thespian on your hands.” Double Trouble smiled proudly and gestured for Adora to put Finn down.

Double Trouble squatted down with arms outstretched and Finn hobbled towards them on small legs. “Ready?” Double Trouble’s eyes flicked from Finn to Adora and Catra. Adora crossed her arms and watched curiously while Catra gave her friend a skeptical look. “Okay, Finn.” Double Trouble addressed the toddler who was staring widely into their eyes, “Show me mom.” Double Trouble made a clawing motion with their hands and Catra could see the gears turning in Finn’s little head. Then it clicked and the toddler turned towards their parents. They raised the hackles on their back, unsheathed their claws, and hissed, their pupils even shrunk to small black slits. “Perfect! Show me mama!” Double Trouble praised.

Finn flexed their arms and turned their head up in a confident pose and Catra snorted at the impression of her wife. Adora, looked much less amused but eventually she gave into a smile and a small laugh. Among other things, Double Trouble had also taught Finn “Uncle Bow” and “Auntie Glimmer” and was more than proud to show off their new student’s talent.

Adora scooped Finn back into her arms and they happily nuzzled against her cheek. “Thank you for watching them.” Adora said, rocking back and forth gently. “Do you know where Glimmer is?”

Double Trouble groaned and put a hand on their hip, “Last I heard she was in some  _ boring _ council meeting, which reminds me that I have my own matters to attend to right now.” They walked right past Adora but snuck one last glance at Catra before disappearing, “If Finn ever needs a watchful eye again, don’t be afraid to reach out, kitten.” Double Trouble winked then sauntered away.

Adora rolled her eyes and shifted Finn into one of her arms so she could carry her bags with the other. “I hate it when they call you that.”

Catra smiled, “Jealous, princess?” Adora huffed and dropped her bags, her flowy white dress trailing behind her as she walked down the hallway ahead of Catra. “Hey!” Catra laughed and struggled to chase after her. “C’mon, you’re really gonna make me carry your stuff too? What are those biceps even used for?” She teased.

“This.” Adora carefully set down Finn on the floor then swiftly brought her arms underneath Catra’s legs and hoisted her up, cradling her bridal style.

“Okay, this...is a pretty good use.” The blonde smiled and kissed her, Finn clapped happily and waddled up to them, hugging Adora’s leg affectionately. Catra jumped out of her wife’s impressively strong arms and snagged Finn as quick as she could, “My turn.” She ran down the hall to their room laughing with Finn (who was happy to just be with their moms again) as Adora struggled to keep up this time. Catra crashed through the door and onto the bed, holding Finn in front of her like a shield when Adora finally caught up. “Take them, not me!”

Finn wiggled in Catra’s grasp, yelling no and giggling as Adora walked as menacing as she could towards the one year old before unleashing an onslaught of tickles and raspberries on them. Finn squealed delightedly and wrapped their arms and legs around Adora’s head in an awkward face hug. Adora plopped down next to Catra on the bed, Finn still attached, and sighed.

“Good to be home, huh?” Catra asked gently.

Adora peeled her child from her face and was immediately met with objections in the form of mewling, but Finn curled against her chest despite the betrayal. “Yeah.” She gave Catra such a soft and endearing expression that had the brunette wishing again that she could freeze time. Adora’s hand reached out to cradle Catra’s face, her fingers rubbing in a circular motion under her jaw, then up to massage her ear. She relaxed into the touch, a purr rolled it’s way from her, triggering Finn and creating a purr within them as well. If Adora was anything like Finn or Catra, she probably would have been doing the same. Adora pulled Catra closer to her and Finn, draping an arm over her waist. 

* * *

When Catra closed her eyes she was met with dark and empty dreams. When they opened again, it was still bright outside. She couldn’t have been asleep for more than an hour. Her legs were intertwined with Adora’s, her tail wrapped around her lover’s thigh and arms holding her as close as possible without crushing Finn between them. Adora’s hand still rested on Catra’s face and Finn was peacefully snoring. Catra watched lovingly and noticed how they both slept the same. Exhaling with mouths slightly agape and a stern expression painting their faces.

She lifted herself as carefully as she could from the bed without disturbing the other occupants. Finn made a sleepy grumble but didn’t wake up, and instead curled themself into a tighter ball against Adora. Catra proceeded to unpack everything from her and Adora’s trip. Bags of clothes and bags of paperwork slowly emptied as the sun went down. Catra’s ears perked up at the sound of Finn beginning to stir awake.

“Hey, peanut.” Catra sat on the edge of the bed, which Finn took as an invitation to crawl onto her lap. Finn quietly stared up at her, their big blue eyes analyzing every bit of their mother’s face as Catra did the same. “I have something for you.” She hoisted Finn onto her hip and walked over to a backpack that was slumped against a dresser. She dug into the pocket and pulled out a blue metal ball that fit perfectly in the palm of her hand. She sat down with Finn in her lap and handed the ball to them, which looked much bigger in their little paws. Finn’s eyes sparkled as they turned the ball over in their hands and examined the gold pattern that adorned the ball in a series of swirls. Catra beamed, proud that her gift was a success. “Watch this.” She grabbed the sphere from Finn’s hand and shook it, a delightful pinging noise was the result. Finn’s eyes lit up and they immediately took the ball from their mother’s hand and shook it as well and had a look of amazement each time it chimed.

“I still think they would have liked the axe more.” Adora sat at the end of the bed rubbing the dreariness from her eyes.

“Well,  _ I _ still think that babies shouldn’t have weapons.” Catra retorted.

Adora walked over and placed a quick kiss on Catra’s cheek. “First of all, it was a weapon made  _ for _ babies. Secondly, my idea was still better.”

“Mhm, well,” Catra stood up, knees cracking unpleasantly, “I’m going to go see if Glimmer is out of her  _ boring _ meeting yet and debrief her on the planets.” She said in a horribly exaggerated impression of Double Trouble. She reached into the bag she had pulled Finn’s gift from and grabbed a neat stack of papers, protected by a plastic covering.

“Sounds good,” Adora placed another quick kiss on Catra’s lips, “See you at dinner?”

“That’s the plan, princess.” Catra winked then exited the room, walking down the hall to where Glimmer might be.

She passed a few Bright Moon guards who pointed her to the council room. When she arrived she knocked on the door frame then leaned against it cooly. “Your Majesty.” She addressed Glimmer and bowed dramatically, earning a groan from the queen.

“Catra.” She replied cold but still got up from the empty table to hug her friend.

“Miss me?” Catra handed Glimmer her stack of report papers and allowed herself to be led to the table.

Glimmer took a seat, “Something like that.”

Catra watched as Glimmer briefly glanced over the papers and cleared her throat, “Krytis and Omiros are regaining their magic at an unprecedented rate. Me and Adora think they might be ready to be inhabited.”

“And what about the others?”

“Trannis is still...a work in progress...but the rest of them are doing fine, you know, like we all said they would.” Catra crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

“I know, I know,” The queen sighed, “It’s just...I need this to go right. There are so many people out there depending on us to fix what Prime did and if we can’t do this then-”

Catra reached across the table and took a hold of Glimmer’s arm, “Woah, Glimmer, it’s okay. We can do this, it’s just not gonna happen as fast as you want it too. I mean, we’ve already made so much progress.” She gave Glimmer an earnest look, she was getting better at the whole comforting thing.

“Yeah, you’re right. I just wish there was less busywork involved, I haven’t punched anything in a while.”

“Well,  _ you _ didn’t have to write all of that.” Catra stabbed, nodding to the reports.

A flash of movement behind Glimmer caught the magicat’s eye. It looked like a dark figure darting across the room. She narrowed her eyes, maybe it was just the silhouette of a bird flying outside being projected onto the walls of the room. Right, of course, that was it. There was no way it could be anything else.

“Catra?”

“Huh?” Catra’s eyes snapped back to meet Glimmer’s.

“Did you hear what I said?” She looked concerned.

Catra blinked, “Yeah. Yeah, sorry.”

Glimmer gave her a look but didn’t press further. “Want to explain these notes a little more to me?”

Catra nodded and sat closer to Glimmer, going over the status of each planet, how the magic recovery is going, updates on the people and inhabitants, where aid is needed most, and what planets can be disenthralled from Prime’s unfortunately ever present grasp.

The sun had just set by the time they finished going over everything. Catra’s brain was fried but she had already begun to work on strategic plans for taking back the next controlled society. Glimmer suggested getting dinner instead, a suggestion that Catra gladly went along with.

She stood up from the table, stretching her back and silently deciding she would finish her work later that night, then followed Glimmer out of the council room.

The dining room had more guests than usual. Micah, Bow, Castaspella and her wife Juliet (Catra’s predecessor as the General of the Bright Moon guard) were already in attendance, but some visiting figures of importance had yet to appear. Catra took a seat near the head of the table that was reserved for the king and queen, soon after she felt small paws grip her calf muscle from under the dining cloth. Catra took a look under and Finn’s happy blue eyes greeted her, they smiled wide and put their mouth on Catra’s knee, biting absentmindedly.

“Ouch, hey, those fangs hurt you know?” She lifted up the toddler and sat them in the seat besides her.

“You have no idea.” Adora settled into the chair on the other side of Finn, her arms full of fresh red scratches.

Catra cleared her throat, “Wow, you look…”

“Like a nightmare?” Adora sighed, combing a loose strand of hair back. “Next time, you’re dressing them for dinner.”

“They look cute.” Catra ruffled Finn’s brown hair, earning a defensive “mlem” in response.

A few more friends and acquaintances filtered into the dining room, all of them visiting council members from Glimmer’s string of boring meetings earlier in the day. Dinner began when the last guest arrived and when Catra wasn’t busy feeding Finn and making sure they didn’t spill food on themselves she was teasing all the members of the table.

Every now and again, though, she would catch some darkness in the corner of her eye or see a quick flash of movement in the background of the room. She came up with reasonable explanations, maybe it was just someone moving on the other side of the table or maybe her eyes were just getting older. She also was able to imagine much darker reasons, a result of all she had been through in her lifetime. The scariest thought Catra always found herself drifting to was the possibility that they were shadows. Her mind dwelled on it all for too long until she was thrown back into the scene of the dinner. 

“Catra?” A calloused hand rested on top of her knee and Catra turned to see Adora giving her a concerned look that she’s seen all too often. Catra just lifted her eyebrows in response. “Do you want to leave?” The loud murmur of conversations started fading back in as she processed Adora’s question.

She shook her head, “No, no, I’m okay just tired.” She stretched and yawned to give proof of her condition. Adora hesitated for a moment but she slowly withdrew her hand, mouthing an ‘okay’ before being immediately pulled into a conversation with Netossa.

_ ‘Just tired.’  _ Catra sighed. Her attention was quickly grabbed by Micah, who was currently teaching Glimmer an inconspicuous teleportation spell and transporting steamed carrots onto his sister’s plate, who was comically confused every time she discovered the amount had increased since the last time she looked down. The antics lasted all the way through dinner and left Catra feeling lighter by the end of it.

She carried Finn back to her and Adora’s room (their eyes could barely stay open, of course she wasn’t going to make her obviously worn out child to walk all the way back). “Smells like bath time.” She said burying her nose into the fur of Finn’s arm.

Adora held their door open for Catra, “Good thing they’re tired then.”

Catra smiled and immediately took a turn into the bathroom and started running the water in the considerably large tub. Adora came over and undressed Finn, lifting them into the tub when it filled. Finn had a burst of energy, fussing angrily at the initial feeling of the water, but they slowly settled down as Adora began to rub their back in lethargic circles.

“Maybe we should bathe them this late more often.” Catra suggested sitting on the edge of the tub.

“I think my arms would appreciate that.” Adora chuckled and Finn smiled. They must love their mother’s laugh as much as Catra does.

Adora began humming softly, kneading her hands through Finn’s hair. Catra knelt down besides her, putting her arms on the edge and resting her head over them. “You’re gonna put us both to sleep.” Catra yawned.

“Learn to stay awake past ten, then.” 

“Oh, ouch, you got me. That one cut deep, Adora.” Catra put a hand over her heart, feigning offense.

Adora rolled her eyes and snorted, “Whatever, grab a towel please.” Catra complied and reached behind her for a towel and spread it out over her lap. Adora picked Finn out of the tub and handed them to Catra. She pulled the plug while Catra started drying Finn out, the friction fluffed out their hair and gave them a wild appearance. While Catra finished soaking up the last bit of moisture Adora left the room, then returned with clean clothing. They wrapped Finn up in the fresh clothes and Adora took them into her arms once again, humming again and carrying Finn to their crib, Catra trailing close behind her. Finn was bounced up and down in a loving manner, Adora trying her best to lull them to sleep. Catra held her from behind, setting her head on her wife’s shoulder.

“If I were ever to lose you…” Adora’s quiet singing had Catra erupting into a purr. “I’d surely lose myself.” Adora was far from an amazing singer, she certainly wasn’t a million dollar act, but hearing her voice echo throughout the room gave Catra a sense of home, a concept she had only recently adjusted to. “Everything I have found here, I’ve not found by myself.” Catra recognized the words and hummed the rhythm while Adora finished the song. Their collective musical efforts successfully put Finn to sleep and they were lowered into their crib.

“You kind of smell too, y’know.” Catra whispered into Adora’s back.

Adora turned around to pull Catra into a kiss. “Well then I guess it’s time to take a bath.”

Catra smiled, “Later, princess, I have stuff to do.” Adora gave a suggestive grin and quirked one of her eyebrows.

“I could be stuff.” 

“Pfft, shut up!” Catra wiggled out of Adora’s hold, “I have  _ work _ to do.”

Adora threw herself onto the bed, defeated. Catra hovered over her and tried to think of a witty comment but drinking in the tender expression that was Adora’s face at the moment had side effects, one of which being no witty comments. She leaned into Adora for a kiss, feeling the other woman smiling against her lips as she placed gentle hands on the back of Catra’s neck.

Catra pulled away, Adora whining in response. She grinned, “Later.”

Adora rolled her eyes and pushed Catra off of her, “You better not take too long.” A laugh threatened to break her tone.

Catra gave Adora another quick peck then slinked down the halls of Bright Moon. The work she had laid out in front of her was tiresome. Trying to create a strategy to take back another planet in one night turned out to be a tad boring, so she busied herself with the work she had to pick up around Bright Moon. A stack of reports that were issued to her all from the past month needed to be read up on. During her and Adora’s expedition she had small meetings with her lieutenant general whenever she had free time but it was never the same as doing the work in person. The unfortunately large amount of work.

The sheer number of papers Catra had set in front of her would make one think that Bright Moon was crumbling with a military force that was in shambles but in reality Catra’s subordinates just  _ really _ liked details. Catra leaned back in her chair, realizing she stopped reading somewhere between “the armory is out of armor” and “the plumbing in cadet barracks isn’t working” and was instead absentmindedly taking in information without actually processing it.

Refusing to start from the beginning Catra thunked her head on the table, maybe if she just closed her eyes, just for five seconds, she’d be rested enough to return.

She blinked once, twice, and the third time there was an unmistakable tendril that reached towards her. Catra shot backwards, toppling her chair and accidentally kicking away the papers on the table. Her heart raced as she stumbled to her feet, shadows began saturating the walls, covering the windows and any door she might use to leave.

“Adora!” She ran to an open exit but a sheet of green light immediately shot up from the floor. She banged her hands on the field of energy, the light turning yellow and stinging her hands where they made contact.

A sinister and familiar chuckle sounded from behind her and Catra could feel the fur on the back of her neck stand. She whipped around and was greeted with the sight of an empty room. The laughing continued and Catra’s eyes frantically scanned the room, looking for a source. There was no one there, nothing there. Catra was alone.

She fell to the floor curling into a ball as tight as she could, instinctively clawing at the back of her neck as a pair of voices hurled scathing words at her from the inside. She could feel her body burning, her veins felt as if they were on fire. Her lungs felt like they were filled with water and boiled inside of her, she choked and coughed, trying to breathe as she suffocated on the floor. Her claws were unsheathed and Catra could see blood dripping from the ends, she didn’t know if it was hers or if she had hurt someone again. Catra closed her eyes tight, tears began to spill over the rims of her eyelids while she gasped for air. She blinked the tears away, once, twice, a third time.

When Catra snapped awake she was shaking violently in Adora’s arms.

“Catra! Catra, hey it’s okay!” Adora’s brows were taut with worry, she tried to caress the side of Catra’s face but pulled away when the action was met with a strangled cry. Too familiar. Catra looked around wildly, she saw a young Bright Moon guard standing a few feet away from the pair. Catra recognized him and was able to recall his name. Therin. He shifted uncomfortably under her piercing gaze, no doubt feeling he was watching something he had no business viewing.

“Therin, come help me.” Adora waved him over and the nervous young boy scurried to the pair, unsure of what to do. He crouched beside Catra as Adora attempted to lift her. He put a supportive hand under Catra’s left knee. Up close Catra could see his eyes underneath his helmet and made another heart wrenching cry jumping out of Adora’s arms and swiping violently at Therin on instinct, knocking off his helmet. His eyes were a bright green, that given different circumstances, would have been beautiful.

He let out an alarmed yell and Adora jumped to stand out in front of him, arms outstretched to guard him from-

_ ‘From me.’  _ Catra examined herself, she looked like a rabid animal. Hackles up and claws unsheathed, cornered against the wall with muscles wound tightly ready to strike again. Catra looked back up to Adora, their eyes meeting. Her eyebrows creased the skin on her forehead, her eyes were wide and her mouth was turned into an open frown. She looked… was she disappointed? Was she afraid? Yes, that’s it. She was afraid of Catra, because Catra is a monster.

“I, I’m…” Catra stuttered, backing herself up against the wall even further until her back hit the cold stone. She crumpled backwards onto the floor, hiding her face and gripping her arms so tight that she could feel her skin begin to break at the contact.

She could her Adora tell Therin something from behind her, “Just go ahead and go, I can handle this.”

Adora can handle this? Yes, Adora can handle this, Catra was a wild animal after all, and Adora was her handler, making sure she didn’t lash out and attack, because everyone knows she’s just a ticking bomb. Catra began to hyperventilate, reaching up to her neck and tearing at the skin.

“Catra! Catra stop!” Adora rushed to her side and held her arms down, wrestling her hands away with force. Catra’s arms eventually got tired from the struggle and she settled for having them clutch her arms as she tried to hide herself from Adora. A hesitant hand rested on her shoulder, testing the water before Adora pulled Catra up onto her lap. Catra turned away from Adora, hiding her face in the fabric of her shirt. “Catra, Catra it’s okay, deep breaths, look at me.” Adora grabbed Catra’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, “Look at me.”

Catra’s eyes darted around to look at anything other than Adora, but she could feel her wife’s gaze burning into her and finally brought her eyes to look at her. Catra started to repeat back the details and features of Adora’s face to herself.

Her eyes were almond shaped and steely blue. Catra took note of the small scar that lined the bump on the ridge of her nose from when she broke it so many years ago. There were several other small scars that littered her face, so faded that the only way anyone could see them were if they were as close as Catra was. Her lips were pulled tight, pursed and pink, dimples forming in underneath the corners of her mouth, a small brown freckle falling into one of them.

Catra continued listing off everything she could see on Adora’s face and her breathing eased. Adora was able to adjust her wife into a less awkward position on her lap. Adora’s hand started to slowly knead Catra’s chest, her fingers and thumb trailing from Catra’s collar bones to meet at a point in the middle of her sternum, then back up again to the base of her neck.

Catra was still shaking and her muscles tensed and untensed in an inharmonious pattern. She was pretty sure her claws had dug themselves into Adora’s arms a few times but if they did Adora didn’t notice.

She tried to say something, but her mouth just hung open instead while she tried to force out words, making pathetic noises in the back of her throat instead. She kept trying to get her words out, but she could only stutter sounds. Adora shushed her, so Catra stopped trying. Catra wanted to hold Adora’s hand but she found herself being unable to move, so she let Adora continue to calm her until her sporadic sobs and gasps turned into acceptable, but still uneven breaths.

“Can I pick you up?” Adora asked gently. Catra nodded and stuttered out something that sounded like a “yes.” The second attempt at Catra went much more smoothly and Adora was able to make it to their room successfully without dropping Catra.

Adora pushed open the door to their room with her foot and hearing the sound of Finn rustling in their sleep made her feel just a bit lighter. To Adora, though, Catra was still decently hefty. Catra was set on the edge of the tub, she hunched over with her hands gripping her knees tight and was incredibly focused on a small crack in the wall. Water started filling the tub and out of the corner of her eye she could see Adora strip. Adora helped Catra be rid of her garments, it was a process that was lengthened by Catra’s slow movements.

“Come on,” Adora said sweetly, “you smell.”

Catra was helped into the tub, normally the water would be an unpleasant necessity, but right now, with her body numb, the feeling was welcome. Adora slipped in behind her using a cup to dump the warm water over Catra’s back. The liquid cascaded down her head and Catra’s body tensed and she desperately wiped the water from her eyes.  _ ‘The pool.’  _ Was all Catra could think. Noticing her mistake Adora apologized and pressed herself against Catra, whispering hushed comforts in between her shoulder blades. Catra focused on Adora’s presence and brought herself down from the brief panic. She looked at her own hands and repeated the details of them back to herself like she did with Adora’s face. Her breathing reached an acceptable rate again.

Adora’s hands found their way to Catra’s stomach and rubbed circles through the thick patch of soft fur there. Adora’s touch traveled down to Catra’s thighs, then up to her hips, her sides, her back, and her arms. They explored until each muscle relaxed under her kind hands. Adora’s knees popped up out of the water besides Catra and she clung to one of them, Adora had to stifle a laugh when wisps of Catra’s hair tickled her thigh. Adora took her chance to clean Catra, soapy hands combed through her wife’s fur and she attempted to wash as much as she could in this position.

The soap was rinsed off of Catra and the water started to drain. Catra didn’t want to move but Adora eventually eased her out of the bath. The change in environment from the warm water to colder than necessary air was unappreciated and Catra hissed. Adora tried her best to dry Catra off but there were still some uncomfortably damp spots that her clothing clung to. Adora grabbed Catra by the hand and guided her to the bed.

She pulled the blanket up for Catra to slide in underneath and slipped in after her and brought the blanket up around her and Catra’s shoulders. Her hands pillowed her head and she observed Catra, ready to pounce and console at the smallest sign of discontent.

“I love you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Catra took a moment before she echoed the sentiment, “I love you.” The words came out as a hoarse mumble. Adora smiled softly, a sentence. That’s progress.

Adora’s smile disappeared and was replaced with a frown quickly as tears began to fall away from Catra. Her quiet whimpering turned into sobs and Adora reached out and pulled Catra close to her. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” She planted a kiss on Catra’s forehead, her lips lingering while Catra’s tears soiled the material of Adora’s shirt. Adora stroked the back of Catra’s head all night, waiting for the magicat to fall asleep.

* * *

When her eyes finally closed and opened again the panic of the night before was just a ghost in the back of Catra’s mind. Adora looked stupid, was the first thing Catra though. Her arm wrapped around her own head and a stream of drool was trickling from the corner of her mouth. Catra thumbed it away before it could create a puddle on the mattress. The blonde shifted sleepily and held Catra closer. Catra twirled a strand of golden hair between her fingers, the light of the early sun reflected off of it. Catra took a deep breath and buried herself against Adora’s chest, who unconsciously responded by draping her arm around Catra and bringing herself to half lay on the other woman, extremely close to just altogether crushing Catra. She sighed and let herself fall asleep for the few more minutes she would have before Finn cried awake.

Catra had monsters, but she never was one, and she’d never be one. Not here where she was safe. Not here where she was loved. Not here where she was home.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed it! I haven't posted any of my fics in a while so I hope it wasn't too bad! I might make more in the future if this gets positive feedback.


End file.
